Change of plans...
Last week I dropped my home-schooled, six year old, off at public school for the first time. This was hard for me because I had a dream of schooling at home until he went off to college. But my spouse had a dream of sending his kids to school and watching them flourish in the public system.
My husband is involved in our community and sees all the benefits of our public schools. He passes out scholarships to hard-working, college bound kids and tells them they are going to do great in life! He walks the hallways of the schools and sees the love flowing from the teachers, principals, and staff going straight to the children sitting in those classrooms.
Funny thing about marriage is that you have to consider the desires of your spouse and compromise. But that’s the “not so” funny thing about authority and submission; it’s great when you agree and it is refinement when you don’t.
So what do you do when you don’t agree with your partner on how to educate? There were many fights about this decision and neither one of us wanted to back down. We even saw a marriage counselor because we both held such opposing views on this topic.
But we came to an agreement to school him at home through first grade, then public school for second grade. In my head, I told myself that he was going to be so impressed with schooling at home that he would change his mind by the end of first grade and let me keep going through all the years. Tricky, I know…
Instead of my schooling expectations being filled with love and joy, I found my very upset first grader unhappy and unwilling to sit and do school at home. I told my son that if he wasn’t going to do school with me, he would have to go to public school. And when the offer was made, he happily took the deal.
The next week, he was enrolled and I watched him go into his first grade class full of excitement and expectancy. When he walked in a little boy hugged him and welcomed him. He put his stuff down at his new desk, across from the cutest little girl I have ever seen, and his new friends started showing him around the classroom.
The greatest gifts the Lord has ever given me, are by far, my children. No greater love fills my heart than holding them and hearing their giggles. Trusting my husband and the Lord with this decision is one of the hardest things I have ever done.
I saw my dream of schooling at home being pulled away from me. I saw failure written all over my life and it hurt. And when I took that pain to the Lord, He clearly said to me, “Do you want YOUR dreams for your life, or do you want MY dreams for your life?” Ouch.
Proverbs 16:9 says, “WE can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
The night before we drove our son to school for the first time, tears filled my eyes and my husband so graciously told me that it wasn’t me versus him. It wasn’t about who was winning the fight we have had for so long. He told me that it was us against the world. I took a deep breath, felt the peace of God fall over me and I knew that it was the right decision.
That’s what I love so much about the Lord, I cried out for help, and He lovingly and gently did a course correction on my heart. The Lord set up submission for a reason and my husband carries the weight of that decision, not me. My yoke should be light and full of joy and when schooling at home no longer fit that mold, I knew that I had to get behind him and tell him that I trusted him.
The point is, trusting God is hard but that’s where faith is increased.
Submission is hard too, but that is where refinement takes place.
No one likes refinement but that is where wisdom and maturity grow deep roots.
I may have released one dream but God has filled it with another. He’s faithful and I trust Him and His direction.
Here at the Beautiful Basics we are cheering you on. Whether you school at home or send your little ones off to school, our hearts are full of love for each one of you!
I hope you enjoyed this blog, it was from my heart!